Let me tell you a little about my previous profession, I promise, this is going to be fascinating:
Before I was blessed with this strange talent, I was a teddy-bear-doctor with a teddy-bear-hotel, where your ‘Teddy’ could go for wellness and treatment. Costumers would send their Teddy on a holiday by mail and I would blog about the adventures and repair Teddy.
My customers were perfectly normal male and female adults, sometimes becoming parents themselves, who wanted to keep Teddy forever. I was fully booked, reservations had to be made months in advance.
I noticed that:
- The most torn Teddy-bears, were the most loved ones.
- There was always one original Teddy, no replacement.
- A lost Teddy was really ‘gone’.
Even if the bears eyes had vanished, the hands were open, the tail was shortened, the stuffing had fallen out… My customers would experience every precious detail while holding the teddy-bear, and look him into the lost eyes and discuss their future, dreaming of ‘some day‘. Holding an imaginary tail now…that used to be there then.
My customers always kept the vision of how the bear was then in their minds, but I had to keep the bear as much the same as possible as it was now. I knew that in the future, in their eyes, Teddy would be ‘the same’ as then and I would have to try to keep him the same for now, again. Knowing that ‘the same’ in the future would not be that for me, but it would be for them.
For my customers Teddy never changes, because the IDEA of Teddy never changes. Even though Teddy is falling apart, Teddy is in essence still the same to them as back then. They know Teddy will stay the same in the future.
How does that magic happen?
I think, because Teddy is a projection of peoples ‘selves’ onto a piece of cloth.
It’s not Teddy who never changes, Teddy changes all right. Otherwise who would need a Teddy-doctor?
It’s the soul of the people that honestly stayed themselves, that never changes. Hence, Teddy stays the same also. When children are honestly giving Teddy his/her character and they stay true to themselves, Teddy will never change. The essence of Teddy, the idea of Teddy, it was all there from the beginning.
Teddy was always, has always been, will always be ‘Teddy’: Then, now and some day. The only way for Teddy to change, would be for peoples souls to change.
I could even speak of ‘eternal Teddy’.
Teddy is an ‘Atymal’ experience made out of cloth:
- It’s one of the few things that can accompany you through your whole life, that you believe not to change.
- It’s always the same reflection of your own unchanging soul, though you see the exterior changing.
Teddy is Music in the sense that:
“Teddy” is a projection of a soul onto a THING, a Piece of cloth;
“The Necklace“, is a projection of my soul onto an IDEA, Music.
Music is the projection of my soul onto an IDEA, onto the musical universe. Because my soul will never change, because I can’t be untrue to my heart, nor compromise, my music will never change.
Teddy will get creepy when you are getting cynical growing up, but he won’t when you stay true to your heart. The only way to really improve ones music, is to improve ones soul, isn’t it?
That’s why I dislike so many music, many disheartening souls were projected onto Music. That’s what I hear, because I am this ‘kind of composer.’
The necklace of the new beginning: it will be me, being honestly me, forever, starting a new beginning. Again and again.
The necklace: it will never really totally change, will it?
And it doesn’t really matter when I write what, will it? Because it will always be there, waiting to be projected onto music. Or not ….
Therefore, the composition “The necklace”, will be written by me “then, now and someday” at the same time. Because, I won’t change my soul in between. It could be past me or future me writing it..it might sound a bit different, but the essence, “what makes Teddy Teddy”, stays the same. Won’t it?
That’s why I am already there, isn’t it? Why TIME is an illusion? It’s not only in Music itself that TIME is elastic, it’s also of no importance at all writing music. Is it?
That’s why it’s useless to speak of improvement (apart from the craft of course) of my music. Because it’s just the way it is, was and will be.